Crow

Today, I saw a crow.
I came home in tears.
My heart now has a hole,
And unforgettable fears.

Today, I saw a crow.
I know what this means.
Something I learned long ago.
It's the usual routine.

Another person gone.
Another funeral to attend.
More tears to shed,
Another life lost, to this horrible trend.

What's horrible is I've gotten used to it.
Used to the fates of Death.
Used to crying and praying.
Used to hearing of their last breath.

I'm used to the questioning of Him.
Yet, I 'm used to visiting His house.
I'm used to wearing black,
And the dark days under His roof.

I'm not a hypocrite.
Just waiting for the sun to shine.
But for now, I'll prepare my outfit.
And hide under the moonshine.

Dear Diary

Februrary 2nd-

It's safe to say cancer ruins everything. My mom is a survivor, has been since she was diagnosed at 28. Now, my grandma has it. Stage 3. I don't really know what to say. But, I wish things would go right. For once.

Valentine's Day

All I see is red.
Hearts and love.
Chocolates and flowers.
All the above.

All I see is red.
Kisses in the halls.
Drawn out hugs.
Loving messages and phone calls.

All I see is red.
Balloons and cards.
Couples holding hands.
Messages on sweethearts.

All I see is red.
And no guy in my life gets to say
"I love you".
Gosh, I hate valentine's day.

Storm

Darkened days.
Dirty clouds.
Lightning flashes,
Thunder speaks aloud.

Rain hits my face.
Rain trickles down my cheek.
This storm never passes.
It never leaves.

Under the cloud of Worthless.
Stuck in the storm of Hate.
Desperate for Hope,
But in the end, I'm too late.

This storm controls me.
Throws me around.
Stuck in the alley of Lost.
Waiting to be found.

Final Goodbye

I'll always run to you.
I'll always be here for you.
But I don't love you.
Just in spite of you.

All you wanna do is flirt with me.
But I won't fall again
Cause it will only hurt me.
And in the end you desert me.

Nothing will ever be the same.
I won't always respond when you call me name.
My heart was a wild beast
That I'm learning to tame.
Because I don't care for your game.

Your game is one I don't wanna play.
That's all I gotta say.
And if you disagree,
And don't love me the same way,
Then I will be okay.
Because tomorrow's a new day.
Unless you wanna stay,
And participate in my life,
Then I suggest you go.
Because I won't be your hoe.
And that's all you seem to know.

So here's my last word for you:
Nothing with you will ever be true.
So when you say hi,
You won't get a reply.
And this is why,
Because you're an ignorant guy.
And this is my final goodbye.

When I'm Gone

"And when I'm gone
Just carry on
Don't mourn
Rejoice
Every time you hear the sound of my voice.
Just know that
I'm looking down at your smile
And I don't feel a thing
So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back."

-Eminem

When I Call Your Name

You will always be
My best friend.
Until the very end.

I will always run to you.
Will always protect you from harm.
I will always have open arms.

But your arms are crossed.
You used to be there for me.
But now your mind thinks differently.

What happened?
How come you have a sudden change of heart?
What happened to the "nothing could tear us apart"?

My ground has fallen.
My haven has dissapeared.
My nightmares reappear and reveal everything I've ever feared.

Will things ever be restored?
Can things ever be the same?
Will you answer, when I call your name?